


Evolve

by thousand_thoughts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Eating Disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23525734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousand_thoughts/pseuds/thousand_thoughts
Summary: He had control over it
Kudos: 18





	Evolve

He can’t see anything, the wind is whipping his hair in front of his face and shielding him from the sight of St Petersburg. It pushes him forward in any direction he’s willing to follow and soon he finds himself on his doorstep. The keys fall and lay beneath his feet taunting him. Bending down to pick them up was an unwise decision, the door had to hold his weight afterwards. The lock clicks and the wind blows the door open, he is quick to shut it behind him and his breath escapes him. 

There’s a bowl waiting in the fridge, it’s cold but he can’t feel it. Cradling the bowl he looks out the window, the trees are almost horisontal where they bow to the earth and he sighs, stupid trees. One, two, three. He’s not hungry. 

One, two, three. He throws the last water bottle on the floor and turns. He really has to pee but he’s not allowed to move. If he moves he knows what’ll happen. The thing blocking him from the bathroom will be the reason for his demise. He tries to think of quads and choreography but there’s the nagging in his mind. 

You almost collapsed today

A champion doesn’t collapse

He thought about it. 

Maybe he needed it. Just a little bit. Tomorrow he would do a perfect run through and he’ll burn them off right? Just a little couldn’t hurt. Maybe he even deserved it. 

The hard light from the fridge was staring him in the face, he squinted and looked away. Trembling fingers reached for the butter package. He eyed the bread next to it. It’s just one sandwich, it’s not much. It was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted and soon he craved more. The bread bag was soon empty along with the butter next to it. Juice, gone. Rice cakes, gone. Apples, gone. Yoghurt, gone. Cereal, gone. 

What had he done? 

A boy sits on his kitchen floor in St Petersburg. There’s tears running down his face and he wants to get rid of his decisions. But no matter how hard he wished the fingers couldn't reach that far. He thought of himself as a monster. A beautiful ethereal monster when the skates would bear him but now, alone on the floor at 2 am, hugging his knees. He had evolved into something worse. He told himself that he would stop when the season started. It’s february. Maybe he’s cursed.


End file.
